A Nice Bed

How do I explain the tension I feel between me & my friends on Spotify? How am I supposed to see them actively listening to a song I’ve never heard before & not add it to my queue? They’re probably listening on their phones anyway, so they won’t know that I’m stalking them for $9.99 per month.

When will Sally Rooney notice me? I think I deserve to know.

I’m sick of seeing torsos.

I think I would have better friendships & an overall happier life if my parents had bought me an Xbox when I was younger & let me play Call of Duty. I guess by growing up playing Mario instead I dodged the bullet of Xbox Live radicalizing me into becoming a horrible person whose personality consists of racial & homophobic slurs & a feeling of superiority over women, but on the other hand, all the Xbox owners who called me a faggot in high school are in relationships now (surprisingly, all heterosexual.)

It’s an awful feeling you have when you discover that a global pandemic doesn’t in any way at all affect your daily routine.

Who am I moisturizing my face for? (To English majors only: for whom am I moisturizing my face?)

I told someone I was eating fruit snacks, & he asked me what flavor they were.

I need a dog, a house, a nice bed, a dog, a job that doesn’t require me to spend my twenties only dreaming about the concept of financial stability, a dog, & a dog.

I don’t have a way to end this, so I’ll just

This article was updated on July 8, 2020